Prioritising mental health and realising the importance of education and awareness is crucial. As members of society it is important that we all develop awareness, educate ourselves and work together to adopt an open approach to mental health. It is important to challenge stigma and break down barriers. It is also important to promote a positive and supportive culture (in workplace, at home, in schools and essentially in wider society) that does not discriminate or judge but instead recognises and supports.

So why is MHFA so important?

Having an awareness and understanding of mental health and being in a position to identify early signs and provide early response is invaluable. This does not mean “diagnosing” or “fixing” a problem but rather becoming skilled in recognising signs and symptoms of common mental health concerns (just as a physical first aid responder would be skilled in identifying signs of someone developing a physical health concern). Being skilled in this way helps develop a confidence in identifying and then delivering that initial support and guidance.

What might this support and guidance look like?

It may be in acknowledging someone is struggling…offering a listening ear…validating an individuals experience…showing empathy…communicating a level of understanding…and signposting to sources offering further help and support. In the process one will likely benefit from developing an increased self awareness of ones own individual wellbeing.

The foundations of promoting an open and supportive culture which is non discriminatory and non judgmental and in which mental health discussion is encouraged and welcomed is key to delivering effective first aid. Each and every one of us has a role to play in this.

I struggled through school. If I heard laughter, I instantly thought it was about me. I hated how I looked and wanted to change everything. I felt worthless. I found that the doubts evaporated a little in college, when I was forced to go somewhere where I knew barely anyone and I created my own identity: I met a group of friends (who are now life-long friends), started a fresh life and started to feel a little ‘worthy’.

Then I met my first boyfriend. He was a bad boy, completely wrong for me, but I thought he could protect me and ‘save me’ so to speak. All that happened was that he cheated on me throughout, made me even more paranoid and then left me pregnant and alone. I suffered a miscarriage, an incident that I never ever allowed myself to deal with.

Following that, I met a ‘safe guy’ – one that all of my friends encouraged me to be with, because he would treat me right. All that happened though was that I spent the entire relationship doubting why I was in it. I would often get anxiety over my thoughts and worries and question whether it was normal to think the way that I did. I was with someone who was good for me, yet I wasn’t happy. I started wondering if I had self-sabotage issues.

After four years together, I received the shock news that my mum had a brain tumour. They had misdiagnosed her for years, and unfortunately the tumour was the size of a lemon. They said they HAD to operate and that she had a 50/50 chance of surviving because of the severity of the tumour.

She survived, with a lot of ‘mental scars’ as opposed to just physical ones. I spent a lot of time with her and wanted to make sure she was going to be ok.

During that time, my ‘safe guy’ boyfriend decided to cheat on me. It was after that incident that I believed no man could ever be trusted.

Then the fun and games really did start. I went on to spend 5 long years with an abusive partner.

At first he was nothing but charming but over time it became apparent that he was a compulsive liar and gambler and would steal from me. After one too many ‘incidents’, I decided to leave. I went back to my mum’s and couldn’t believe the weight that had been lifted off my shoulders, even with the £15k debt I had been left with, I was so happy to have gotten away from his clutches.

However, that then proved to be another anxiety – worrying about seeing him out. I knew he was so ‘erratic’ that he was capable of anything.

I often worried about being out for a night out and him seeing me and him dragging me out of the venue and just beating me up. I was constantly on edge.

I then met the ‘normal guy’, who had a stable job and a strong family and he seemed to have the whole package. At first I didn’t want to know, but he became persuasive and I eventually gave in to getting to know him. After nine months together I found out he had been cheating on me. We finished and I went back to the mindset of ‘I am never going to meet someone decent’. My anxiety was amplified, I started concentrating on physical feelings I was getting and discovered the horrendous health anxiety. That same month my nan suddenly died.

This is when the anxiety and panic attacks properly started. I remember being in my office one day and having pains in my left arm, and then palpitations, I told my colleague and she told me to phone 111. They sent me an ambulance because I thought by this time that I was having a heart attack and I couldn’t calm down. My arms went numb, I couldn’t breathe and basically I was beyond terrified. But the hardest thing was, was that it was in the middle of an open plan office and all I wanted to do was hide away, I was terrified of anyone noticing.

They confirmed to me that I was having a panic attack. That was my first of many to come. Once this happened, it was a regular occurrence. If something that didn’t feel right, I wouldn’t be able to think of anything else and then I would be googling away on the internet to confirm my worst fears. I was constantly at the doctors, researching illnesses and then developed death anxiety.

From this moment onwards I worried about death and dying every single day. It plagued my thoughts. Even now if I read things about cheating or sudden deaths, they instantly make me go funny.

Once I started getting these panic attacks and feeling anxious every single day, all I wanted was an instant ‘fix’ to feel normal. I went on overdrive, I signed up to group therapy, went to private counselling sessions, read self- help books, listened to podcasts, read every article going and took daily surveys over how bad my anxiety was. All I wanted was to feel better.

It has taken many years to feel relatively normal and even now I can have overwhelming fears. I have to talk to people I am close to about things and it will eventually make me feel better but I do find that being healthy, drinking less, getting enough sleep and communication, all big factors on making things better.

I went online, looked at the what NHS recommended and saw my doctor. I also spoke to friends about any counsellors they had seen and went to see a few different ones, it was like panic buying.

However, like with any relationship, you have to find the right counsellor to trust and talk to.

Needless to say, I saw quite a few that were not the right ‘fit’. I also was lucky enough to have a support network at work, they offer phone counselling and face to face counselling. I found that the phone counselling really helped me, I felt less paranoid and less judged. I also bought diaries to try and write down things I was grateful for and to seek the positives amongst the negatives.

I feel so strongly about mental health because I have battled it all of my life. As much as I am happy in my life now, am married and have a stable family/friendship group but it has taken me years to feel better. I have episodes of upset and devastation and I have moments where I can be in a certain mood and nothing will shift me out of it. There are times I can feel beyond low and yet I can have nothing to feel unhappy about, I battle, every day. However, I think learning more about a subject that you are affected by is the start of learning how to understand yourself and since I have been researching and learning more about things and meeting people in similar situations along the way, it has helped me and ultimately helped them too. It isn’t good to feel alone because that feeling is terrifying.

Meeting the right person has had a seriously positive effect on my life and after everything I went through, to know I have someone by my side who supports everything I do and doesn’t judge me for any of it. He is such a strength to me and he has his own anxieties to deal with himself but he always will take the time to sit with me and go through things when he knows I am not in a good place, having that support, is everything.

I honestly feel like I cleanse myself when I talk about things. I feel like I have all these demons inside me, but every time I talk about them, I let another one go. It is amazing to witness the power that communication holds. I also find writing things down at the end of the day a good way of detoxing my mind, it is still ‘getting it out’, even if I am only sharing it with myself.

I think up until a couple of years ago, having mental health was considered a weakness and almost gave you a badge to state you were not capable of living life but with high profiled personalities being open and sharing their stories, I think that it is beginning to be viewed in a more positive light. I think there is a very long way to go and people need the support they so rightly deserve to get, not everyone has a group of friends and caring family. People need to know that they DO have support from another source.

When she died I thought it couldn’t get any darker but it did. I felt absolutely powerless. Before this “Dad could sort everything”. I descended into a dark fog of which I am only now emerging from five years after her death.

I went down a dark road into dependence on Alcohol and I tried to take my own life as I felt ‘what was the point’?

Eventually with the help of my supportive family and friends I saw a psychiatrist and a counsellor from the hospice that my wife visited and my GP. Very slowly I started to make some progress. Although it often felt like one step forward two steps back.

With a combination of counselling and medication I was able to see light at the end of the tunnel. Talking wasn’t easy for me and even harder to take the medicine. I have been a successful leader in the local community for over 30 years and I was worried that people would see this as a weakness.

Throughout all of this I have come to understand Mental Health is as important as Physical Health. It really is important to get help when needed. Unfortunately at school we didn’t talk about our mental health let alone learn about it. Times are changing and there is great help out there today. As the saying goes “its ok not to be ok”.

I have hope for the future and I am trying to move forward with a new sense of purpose, having purpose is the key for me. I continue to keep talking to family, friends and professionals when needed. One thing I have learnt over the years is not to be ashamed or embarrassed by seeking help. And don’t feel if you have a bad spell that you are going back to the beginning, you are not. It’s hard to feel that friends and family are disappointed in you but they are not and ultimately want the best for you.

Society needs to integrate Mental Health Fist Aid in schools colleges etc because it is as crucial as Physical First Aid . From my experience the road is bumpy and not straight forward but worth walking.

It didn’t just affect me it also affected my husband as I was always snapping at him, I seemed to struggle with dealing with normal levels of stress, my baby also would settle more when my husband was around. My husband would have to deal with little sleep a new baby and also his wife changing, he felt like he could not make me happy, which in turn made him feel very low and he had a lot to deal with.

PND started about 6 months after having my first child and carried on for around 4 years after. I think part of the reason why it started was not only the big change in hormones but the fact my family were all far away and didn’t live nearby, my friends were all in fulltime jobs and I was the first to have a child in the group. I was very isolated and after a while I started isolating myself even more because of the depression, which was a vicious circle. When I visited the doctors, he straight away said that anti-depressants would help, this seemed to be the main option available I didn’t ever question this because I trusted in the Doctors judgment, he also signed me up to visit a counsellor to do a CBT course. However, I decided not to go but today I believe this would of helped massively because I would have been able to talk to someone about the way I was feeling, rather than bottling it all inside. The trouble is when you feel depressed your motivation to do new things isn’t always there.

I am still affected by low mood, and I believe this is to do with hormones as it becomes a lot worse at certain times in the month. I no longer take anti-depressants and I have found following an exercise program and eating a lot better has helped to control this. I do exercise classes four times a week, these vary from yoga to circuits. These involve groups of people and I have made a lot of friends through these classes as well as exercising which makes it more enjoyable. I also do about four hours walking a week. My eating habits involve fresh food, salads, vegetables and white meat and fish.

I feel there is still a big stigma around mental health and it is hard to admit that you are suffering and to speak out. I feel a lot more needs to be done for people to take this issue seriously and make everyone feel comfortable to speak out if they’re suffering . I feel it is important to train the workforce and also educate children in schools to finally lift the stigma. As a parent I think children would benefit from this as they would integrate it as a everyday part of life from a young age and in turn help the children to talk to one other

My husband would give me 5 things to achieve every day, it started with simple things like “put my legs out of the bed” to eventually 6 months later I was ready to go back to work.

I remember feeling like a wounded frightened bird. So fragile. Even simple things would make me panic (the phone ringing or someone at the door). These feelings are still very much with me nearly 15 years on.

I feel I recovered because my husband was very understanding and between him and my GP managing the situation I finally was able to join life again however I was really reluctant to get better and had to begin my life again. At first I was afraid to say I was well incase people might expect something from me I was unable to give.

For a really long time people would scrutinised me to see if I was getting sick again the pressure of that was incredible.

Talking to my husband and GP continually was brilliant, I learned that it was ok to say what ever I felt because I trusted them completely. My first breakdown was caused by taking on too much and trying to be the best at everything wife, mother in my career and in my life that is just not possible or realistic.

My second crisis was when I was 52 and was caused by a tragic situation I was involved in during my working life. It was diagnosed as PTSD, it was similar to previously although not as severe, I remember everything and although I was on strong medication it didn’t disable me in the same way. I cried all the time and was unable to stop thinking about the event, I played it over in my head like a film, I couldn’t sleep, I was unable to process it and I had no control of my thoughts or feelings.

I went to counselling weekly and had EMDR which is a therapy using rapid eye movements, it help the brain turn a trauma into a memory. Talking it over and over was the only way to process the horrific situation, the medication helped to calm my brain so I could process my thoughts. I believe I am still suffering from this terrible condition and often wonder if I will ever be the person I was before ever again.

I would like to think that I could live my life without getting sick again but that spectre will be with me forever. My mental health is vulnerable every day and this is very scary. I’m lucky to have such a supportive husband and I often wonder what it is like not to have support.

I think it is getting easier to talk about mental health now but when I had my first breakdown it wasn’t so easy and people would try to diagnose me with an illness like flu etc to explain it. I lost many friends after the first one who clearly couldn’t cope with me or didn’t want to be around me. But this time it was much easier maybe because there was an exact cause so people could understand it.

I have to say that both times I had fantastic care from the health care services maybe because I’m in the profession. Both times I saw my GP regularly and received counselling. I do wonder if pharmacological remedies are used to quickly before exploring the problem. These drugs can mask some of the problems, making it difficult to talk about them.

I think it’s important to teach children to talk about how they feel before they reach crisis. I also think that parents need help to recognise a mental health issue occurring and to help their children if they see a problem starting. But I feel the health service definitely let children and young people down. There is very little resource for this group of people.

In the profession I work within (healthcare) mental health first aiders are absolutely invaluable and we have just started a scheme focusing on this. It is slow to get off the ground but I have faith that it will take off. It sends the right signal that people will be taken seriously if they have an issue.

Whilst grieving the loss of David we got the devastating news that in the December of 2011 my Dad had develop cancer in his bowels. Having started secondary school by this point the support which was provided was great. I had an amazing pastoral care assistant who I felt comfortable to go and talk to about any worries I had and within school I was also assigned a counsellor who I had from year 7 all the way to through to year 11.

Most importantly I always had my mum to talk to, there was a close connection between the school and my mum which meant that I had an invisible comfort blanket of support. On reflection this was key in supporting me.

Throughout this period in my life I became a very anxious person as I felt like the days and weeks to come were so unpredictable. My mind could never settle, I didn’t like to leave the house without my mum and when my mum left the house I was always so worried that she wouldn’t come home. My anxiety became very intense at times and often overpowered my thoughts, with the support from school and my mum working together I was able to control some of those worries.

My dad fought a short and intense battle with cancer and passed away on the 15th of November 2012, being a young girl throughout all of this my emotions became clouded, I felt confused, angry and as though I was drowning in grief I didn’t know how to express myself properly or safely. I turned to self-harming as a way of expressing my pain, I had completely shut down in emotion and felt as though talking about it wouldn’t help – and boy I was wrong in thinking that!

The loss of my David and my Dad in the space of 2 years was very difficult for me and my Mum, the years to come weren’t much easier as the grief really did sink in. It would be the little things you would notice more, even though my Dad had been off work for quite a few months, when he died I would always find myself looking at the front door at six o’clock because that would be when he would come home from work. For both me and my mum it was really difficult to see the memories of my Dad as being positive, it took many years before that mindset changed for myself.

However, now being 19 I like to think that my Dad is with me, sharing each new experience and helping me when I reach a cross road. Whilst in my counselling sessions I never saw the importance of getting my mental health stable, until one day, and I remember this so vividly, I woke up and I decided that I didn’t want to be sad anymore, there were things that I wanted to do that I was stopping myself from doing. And since then (I was about 13) I have been on an upwards path, I still have a few bumps along the way but I feel more able to control the anxiety and when I have a down day I tell myself that each day comes to an end and tomorrow is a new day, so I will try again. I try to keep myself and my mind busy, I enjoy cleaning and tidying things up because I like seeing the difference and being able to relax in a nice environment, when I struggle or feel unmotivated to do the things I enjoy I know that something is up and I just need to take my time that day to get myself back on track.

It’s important to recognise and understand our feelings and not push yourself and feel like a failure on a day that you just weren’t up for much. I set myself small targets that I know I can reach and feel like I have accomplished something that day. As I am aware of my anxiety I know that when I over think I need to get all the words and ideas out of my head so that I can ‘see things clearer’ and then work from there in what I am actually wanting to do.

I am fortunate with my mum as she is able to understand and help me reason with myself. However, a lot of people don’t understand mental health and what it’s like for someone who could feel anxious or depressed.

I feel that it is important to educate parents, partners, teachers, anybody who could be around someone struggling. Those people need to be aware of what a mental health illness is so that they are more able to support the individual outside of a counselling/professional environment. I was fortunate with my mum having close links to the school and for the support she gave me at home but other families aren’t as lucky. Young people are very good at hiding and disguising things as something they are not, I feel that if a problem arises at school about someone’s mental health then parents/carers should be made aware (and vice versa). Some parents may feel like they are failing or they can’t talk about their child to the school because of fears of being judged. Perhaps if those barriers were broken then progress with young people’s mental health could be made.

It takes time to be able to come to terms with issues that a person may be struggling with and new things/feelings that they may not have been experienced before. Some people try and get a ‘quick fix’, that may help for a few days but the underlying problem is still there.

Signs need to be recognised from the beginning which is where educating young people and adults in mental health is so important. By doing this they can help themselves and help others before it could become an even bigger problem.